Part2 of my last question...How do i become care free and get my boyfriend to be how he use to be?

i just want to have more confidence!i dress nice,do my hair everyday,put on make up,smile for no reason,you know the works but for some reason i am still insecure about my boyfriend that is why i constantly call and text him.sometimes i just need to talk to someone because i get lonely and depressed but hes always out.Bottom line it is not his job to always be here for me 24/7 i have to be here for myself.I want to have fun again and be care free but the only way i was doing that before was drinking.I had a drinking problem and i am only 18(i am ashamed) i dont want to be like this anymore,i want to stop smothering him and making him the center of my life,i want to love myself again,and be fun like i use to without being intoxicated.